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I Got Distracted And Messed Up!

This is a lesson in stopping the running around in my own agenda, recognizing that God wants to remind me of something and taking the time to listen to His voice. I didn’t do that this weekend. This past Saturday, I had to take a dose of my own medicine.  I got distracted, wasn’t where I was suppose to be and didn’t take care of a new friend who was relying solely on me.

So, here’s the dumb thing I did this weekend…

I went to the Messianic Service on Friday night, where I met a very nice young lady who was new to the church.  She’s just coming out of a situation where she experienced deep wounding from the church home she was attending recently.  I can tell she’s hungry for the Lord and eager to learn. A real sweetheart!

We struck up a conversation right away. She’s so easy to talk to and had lots of questions.  I didn’t mind.  I loved it!

I was telling her that I’d be back at church tomorrow (Saturday) because I had Hebrew class.  It’s not an official class through the church.  My teacher offers it weekly to people who were interested in the Jewish Ministry.  So, no one would know where class was held unless you’ve been going already.

My new friend look up the book required for class and was about to order it.  I told her that she might want to wait until she had a chance to sit in on the class before she committed to getting the book.  Her eyes were as big as saucers! She said, “Oh, I know already I want to take the class!”, smiling from ear to ear.

We agreed to meet at 3:45 the next afternoon so I can show her where to go.  Sometimes we have to switch rooms and the class won’t know that until just before we start that Saturday.  Our teacher sends an email telling us were she’s at for class.

I also told her that tomorrow, I wouldn’t be able to be in class with her because I had to take the “New Members Class”, but I’d be able to show her where she needed to be before it started.

To be honest, I wasn’t looking forward to going to the “New Members Class”.  I’d been complaining in my mind about it all week. But I was also excited to get to church anyway because of a cute guy I had noticed over the past couple of months.  I see him just about every  Saturday. I was hoping that this would be the week he would come over and talk to me.  I know, I know!  I’m like a little girl in grade school.

To top it all off, I was under pressure to edit the video of my Divorced Divas Academy℠ class in time to get it up loaded to my website for the following Monday.  I got to church really early so I could work on the video and edit all of the pages attached to it. I started feeling pressure that I was now working fast enough to finish.

I even took the picture above when I took a break from editing the video while I was at church on Saturday.

It was about 20 minutes before the “New Members Class” started.  I saw the cute guy, but he was sitting by himself, eating.  I was disappointed.  My computer battery was about to die, so I thought to myself, I don’t want to lose any of the work I had done, let me go upstairs where the class will be and I’ll plug in and work until class starts.

I moved from where I was suppose to meet my new friend and went upstairs, totally forgetting about her.  As I was going up the stairs, I felt like I was forgetting something, but I couldn’t remember what it was.  To be honest, I don’t know why I had it in my mind that I was going to lose my work.  I was editing in iMove.  It automatically saves your work, even if you lose power.

IWhen I got upstairs, the people who were volunteering for the class were talking to me and my phone rings.  I look at the number, thinking it’s probably telemarketers.  I forgot to put my friends name in my phone when she called me the night before to give me her number.

It wasn’t until 1 1/2 hours later, when the “New Members Class” was over, I listened to the message and realized I stood up my new friend.  She had no idea where to go.  She drove all the way to church for nothing.

I thought to myself, she’s going to think, here we go, church people disappointing me again!

I felt like crap! I texted her and left her a voice mail message.  I tripped all over myself apologizing to her.

All night long and into the next morning, I was saying to myself, here I go again…I didn’t recognize when God was trying to get my attention.  I’m so busy worrying about things that either, I couldn’t do anything about (the cute guy) or weren’t going to happen (my work was saved on my computer).

As a result, I didn’t take care of my new friend.  I let silly stuff take over. I focused on my own agenda.  And this is an emotional trigger for me because there were times in the past, even recently, where I allowed myself to get distracted.  God tried to tell me and I didn’t stop to listen.  I paid a dear price for that.  So, I vowed I wouldn’t do that again. And here it is, I did. Again!

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Here are the take aways from that experience:

  1. Stop meditating on what you can’t change.  I had to take my own advice and stop playing the tape in my own head how I allowed a series of events get me off my game and thinking to myself, I missed it!  And letting myself think that since I did it again, I will miss what God has for my future.  I reminded myself that there isn’t anywhere I could go, no wrong turns, no bad decisions that I could make that God wouldn’t know exactly where I was and use His power to get me where He wanted me to be.
  2. I’m going to make mistakes and I need to deal with forgiving myself.  I hate making a bad impression.  Especially to someone that I know is healing from being hurt by other people in the Body of Christ. I’ve always been too hard on myself.  My new friend probably went to bed that night, not thinking about this at all.  But I was up half the night feeling like a jerk.  God wants to root out the “perfectionist” in me and I need to let Him do just that.
  3. I don’t need to strive to earn it.  Most of all, God is trying to teach me that when I see my new friend again, not to strive to earn her forgiveness.  Truth be told, I know in my head that she has forgiven me, but in my heart, I was still holding on to guilt.  I have a history of blowing things up so much bigger than they ever were.  So, I put on some worship music, repented for letting worry steal my time and I let it go!

If you struggle with perfectionism and forgiveness, I hope this article helps you to root that out of your heart.  We’re all a work in progress.



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