Unless you live in a bubble or you’re a hermit, it’s just about impossible to eliminate toxic people from having an impact on your life to one degree or another. You might want to do something easier, like figuring out the answer to world hunger or getting a camel to go through the eye of a needle.
Being around those types of people can cause stress. They make you do more work because you are always trying to find a way to not be around them. In short, they’re a pain in the you know what. Their impact on you can be magnified when you’re out here trying to do something you’ve never done before, like start a business or recently gone through something life changing, like a breakup.
Recently, I allowed someone close to me to get me off my train of thought. I started focusing on how ridiculous they were acting. One day they had a smirk on their face they couldn’t hide because they were happy that I’m having an issue with hair loss. Then they thought they caught me in a lie (I have at least 50 people as witnesses that I was where I said I was…at church in a bible study class) and they spent half the afternoon telling anyone who would listen.
I had to pull back, stop playing the tape in my head about all the things I could come back at them with, which, quite frankly, I don’t have to even think about because their life and health is in such shambles. I can’t lower myself and jump in the sewer with them. Every minute I focus on how I was wronged and the way it made me feel hurt and upset, is every minute I’m not concentrating on how I’m going to make my circumstances better and how I’m going to “blow up” my business and hit my financial goals.
I needed to remember that I don’t owe them any explanations. In fact, engaging them in their own twisted reality only encourages them to continue to try and find new ways to act woefully immature, stay in my business and be mean-spirited. In short, it fuels the demonic. I was starting to absorb their negativity. God defends me.
As my friend, Amy Coello says, “when people attack me, speak word curses over me and celebrate when I trip and fall, they’re going to have to understand that I’m going to use it a teachable moment for others”. That’s exactly what I’m doing now. What the enemy meant for evil…God will turn it around for your good.
So, here’s how some experts suggest that you can neutralize toxic people in your life:
Here’s the real takeaway. Toxic people exist. They will be a part of your life. Don’t let them get under your skin. Know their patterns, set boundaries, protect yourself and let the mayhem go.
¹ Toxic People: 16 Practical, Powerful Ways to Deal with Them, by Karen, Hey Sigmund, http://www.heysigmund.com/toxic-people-16-practical-powerful-ways-to-deal-with-them/, retrieved October 30, 2016.
³ How Emotionally Intelligent People Handle Toxic People, by Dr. Travis Bradberry, http://www.talentsmart.com/articles/How-Emotionally-Intelligent-People-Handle-Toxic-People-1028629190-p-1.html, retrieved on October 30, 2016.