Don’t Give Your Boyfriend Husband PrivilegesSeptember 26, 2016
Advice On Starting Your Conversation About DivorceOctober 10, 2016
You’ve cut him loose. It’s over. Your done. But a short time later, maybe just a few days or weeks, he says he’s ready to be a different guy. He’s seen the light. He’s gonna to be what you need in your life. How do you know that there’s been a real change in him?
Every woman loves a story of redemption. We’re always rooting for the underdog. We want to believe that the man we were once in a relationship with has made a change for the better. Should you believe him? Here are 5 warning signs that it’s going to be the same old, same old:
- Where He Spends His Money Is Where His Heart Is. Men put their money in places that are the most important to them. If he’s still spending his money in the same way he was before, that’s a definite warning sign that he hasn’t made any changes in his heart or his behavior. Always ask him (in a round about way) what he’s been doing with his money. That will tell you a lot.
- He Won’t Go to Counseling. This is a big one! If he says that he doesn’t believe in counseling, it doesn’t work, he can do it all himself, watch out! It’s just another way for him to escape getting to the real root of what’s going on with him and getting the help that he needs to make a real, lasting change in the trouble areas of his life. You’ll be going around the same old mountain if you take him back.
- Everything Is A Secret. You ask him basic questions and he dances around giving you a straight answer. He doesn’t openly share with you about his day on a regular basis. He’s often deflects attention away from himself and back on to you. If you’re noticing that he still doesn’t want to be transparent about the most basic things in his life, that’s a red flag that says you should probably keep it movin’.
- Your Getting “The Bum’s Rush”. He comes back all in a hurry to get in your good graces again. He’s acting like his life depends on you saying yes right now to taking him back with no questions asked. When you feel you are being rushed into getting entangled with him again, it’s a sure sign that he doesn’t want to give you time to see that if you peek under the hood, it’s the same old engine. If he really has changed and has your best interest at heart, he’ll wait for you to know in your own heart that this is the right decision for you.
- Don’t Ignore Your Gut Feeling. It really doesn’t matter what you call it…intuition, a hunch or Holy Spirit talking to you, don’t ignore those butterflies in your stomach that are telling you that something’s not right. There’s a lot you can tell from looking a person in the eye or the tone in their voice or how you feel in their presence. If you have a bad feeling about what a guy is saying to you, step back to take a long, hard look to see what is waiting to be revealed. Trust yourself! Or better yet, trust that God is working on your side!
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Judge Lynn Toler from Divorce Court television show always says to wait 6 months to see if he’s really changed. I’d say that’s a good advice! He can keep up an act for only so long. The overriding theme here is to take your time and trust your instincts.