The Way Black Men and Women Relate to Each Other is Broken
What would drive a black man, who is in the public eye, to abandon his famous pregnant wife after only seven months of marriage, and disgrace her in an open and notorious way by asking for a paternity test, when he doesn’t have a probable reason to suspect her of infidelity?
The Keshia Knight Pullman divorce is another example that shines a light on the dysfunction between black men and black women.
His Side of the Story
There are 2 main points that Keshia’s husband, Ed Hartwell, said during his interview with Page Six that are notable.
First, lets take a look at his belief that the baby Keshia is carrying may not be his child. Ed claims that he really doesn’t believe that Keshia cheated on him, but she just wanted to have baby fast and she mentioned in vitro fertilization as an option.
Keshia obviously got pregnant after they were married about 2-3 months. I’m no doctor, but I believe that she would have had to take shots and have several doctor’s visits, not to mention the day of having the actual procedure.
And he wants us to believe that he wouldn’t have known about it?! I mean, this is surgery to have this done! And I haven’t even gotten to the cost of this because it’s not covered by most insurance plans. This doesn’t make any sense.
One day, their daughter is going to grow up and find out about this whole situation. I sincerely hope that what her dad is saying does not cause a deep emotional wound for her.
I also pray that all of the stress from this situation doesn’t effect the baby and that she’s born absolutely healthy and happy.
Second, lets talk about his feelings that Keshia only cared about having a baby and not about him. Now this was a fast courtship. So, lets just lay down the fact that they really didn’t know each other. Ed says that the initiated the conversation with Keshia in February that he didn’t want to have a baby now and he wasn’t sure if he loved her.
I’m assuming that he didn’t wake up that very morning and realize he felt this way. It probably went on for days, if not weeks. This is around the time that she would have gotten pregnant. If he didn’t want to become a dad again, then why did he continue to have unprotected sex with his wife?
And that’s another thing! I’m so sick and tired of black women being accused of having some evil agenda when they want things that are very normal for women in every other people group. Keshia is 37 years old, this is her first marriage and first pregnancy.
Why is her husband painting her out to be some horrible monster for feeling like she’s getting older and really wanting to get married and have a child? Why is her desire to be a mom make him the victim in all of this? Isn’t this a major reason most people get married is to have a family? Why should it be different for Keshia? Especially in light of the very unique way that she grew up as a working child star.
Black women are accused all the time by black men as always wanting to be the “man” in the relationship. When we want something that is “so female” as becoming a mom, we’re accused of wanting to trap a man! When we say we want to be taken care of by our boyfriends or husbands, we’re gold diggers! We can’t win!
And by the way, what’s Keshia’s profit motive in this situation? According to Wikipedia, Ed is worth about $200,000 and Keshia is worth about $12 million. And it’s reported that Ed is unemployed. She’s the one who has a heck of a lot more to lose in this than Ed does.
How Much of This Is About Money?
It makes you wonder if this split, especially the timing of it, is really about money. Many child stars have trust funds where their money is protected, even after they turn 18. Maybe after they were married, Ed realized that he wouldn’t have access to Keshia’s money like he thought he would?
And, it’s awfully suspicious that Ed makes this announcement one week before NFL training camps start. I don’t really believe that Ed is trying to play football anymore. But what if he’s trying to promote some business interest that would involve the NFL organization or that he want’s to be hired in some capacity in the NFL corporate office? Then the timing of this divorce case is very interesting.
None of this makes any sense. There’s no talk of counseling or trying to work it out in any way. Who cares if they rushed into it. They both made a commitment to each other and there’s a precious child on the way.
This makes marriage in the black community look like such a joke. And it only reinforces the stereotype that black men leave their families at the slightest provocation.
I can’t end this without mentioning the irony of his last name, Hartwell (Heart-well). I couldn’t imagine there’s anything well about Keshia’s heart right about now.
I pray that they both will get some inner healing from all of this and that they will be able to effectively co-parent their daughter.