Ok. So you’ve had some low-down, dirty, rotten things done to you when you were married. Then you had to fight off some dumb nonsense, childish stupidity and nasty tactics in your divorce. Where do you go from there? Especially if you have kids with them?
There’s an old saying, “Don’t drink poison and expect the other person to die!” That’s what carrying around bitterness is like. There is a ton of studies out there that show the bad outcomes for your physical and emotional health when you hold on to bitterness and anger. Recently, I had a friend who I’ve known for almost 20 years ask me, “How do you not get bitter through all the ‘crap’ that happened to you in your marriage? Your posts are so positive and you look so happy!”
I have days when I have to fight off the enemy because he’s trying to get me to believe that my dreams for my life and my business will never come true and those discouraging thoughts come flooding in my mind. But when you’re going through the fire, don’t stop!! Here’s 3 things that I’ve found that have helped me and many others:
- Pull back and look at the bigger picture. What’s the agenda?! I’ve always found that the assignment against me (and you, too) is to create as much turmoil and pain as possible so that I’ll stay so focused on that, I won’t be able to focus on what I’m trying to get done and where I’m trying to go. In short, it’s a distraction. As long as I can see it that way, it gets pretty easy for me (after much practice) to detach emotionally from it.
- Don’t feed into the drama. I have seen this work over and over again for other people. It worked for me. When I saw the agenda and I emotionally detached from it, then I could do what I need to do to deal with it and get out from under it. When you stop feeding into the drama of it, that usually will discourage the person who’s doing it because they see that they’re not able to get you all stirred up and upset, which is the way they distract your attention away in the first place. Don’t embolden the enemy!!
- Operate in the opposite spirit. What do I mean by that? I had to speak a blessing over him. Despite how much my flesh wanted to curse him, put him down, say how stupid and crazy he was, I operated in the opposite spirit and forgave him. Forgiveness is absolutely supernatural. It is not something that comes naturally to us. But I have learned that forgiveness is not a rubber stamp to say that everything that the other person did was good and right. It is to release you to walk in the freedom that was always meant for you to feel and enjoy. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it!
Click here for our video on the 5 things you should do right after your divorce.
So kick bitterness in the butt and tell it to get the hell out of your life. You’ll live a longer, healthier and happier life. And as a bonus, your ex might decide to act like a decent human being when he sees he doesn’t have that type of power over you anymore! Take back your power!
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