Dating Dilemma for 40 Something Women

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Dating Dilemma for 40 Something Women

Silhouette of couple walking on beach at sunset holding hands. Horizontally framed shot.

I have to admit.  It’s work being out in the dating world again.  I met my ex when I was 17 year old. So, I didn’t have a lot of dating experience before I was married.  And even if I did, I would look back to that time because I wasn’t walking with the Lord like I am now.

I didn’t grow up with any brothers, so I don’t really have a good handle on how men think and how they usually approach things concerning relationships, especially these days. I do have a male friend that I’ve talked to from time to time to get his advice. But I didn’t call on him this time because I knew that it wasn’t a good time for him.  Too much on his plate right now.  He didn’t need to hear me asking him about my dating dilemmas.

Since my divorce in the summer of 2014, I haven’t been on many dates.  I did have a boyfriend for a while, but I hardly dated at all before we decided to be a couple.  We parted ways as friends.

I just learned another painful lesson.  I didn’t realize that there were some lines that I needed to read through concerning a person that I recently had the pleasure of meeting.  I shouldn’t always take what men say at face value.  I need to read more into how things are said and when they are said so that I get what they’re really trying to say.

Another mistake that I made was that I really didn’t listen closely to what he wanted to hear from me. I thought that I would have more time for him to get to know me.  I had all these preconceived ideas about what he would like and what he was looking for. To be brutally honest,  I also had some areas of my life that I was embarrassed about that I didn’t really know how to approach those subjects.  I wasn’t trying to hide anything, I just thought it was too soon to bring it up on the 2nd date.

But here’s the benefit that I got through that experience…I didn’t trust God with my heart.  What I mean by that is that in the area of relationships, I didn’t trust that God is in control and will always act in my best interest.  Now if you would have told me that a month ago, I would have told you, ‘that’s crazy! I trust God with my life!’  But God had to offend me to expose this ugly fact.

I also learned that I’m not quite ready for Mr. Right.  I have some work that I need to do and I am committed to doing all the hard work to root out all of the stuff I’m still carrying around.  I’ve started already.  It hasn’t been easy.  There are things about myself that I thought I had gotten rid of in the past.  But when something is revealed, it requires a response.

Healing hurts. Just ask anybody whose had an operation.  But, healing and growth are always good. And in the end, you’ll be that healthy person that the love of your life needs and is ready to cherish, nourish and protect.

The bottom line is, if God brings you the right person into your life, whatever you have to say to him about your life, it will ultimately be okay. God brought him to you.  God knows what has happened and what will happen in every day of your life.  He knows the end from the beginning!

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I don’t need to figure out what men like.  I had to learn that, for the right man, I’ll be exactly what he’s looking for.  Whatever my life story is, it will be something that he’ll except.  And that’s so much easier!  God’s way usually is!

Click here for your video: 5 Things You Should Do within 30 Days After Your Divorce

In His love and care,


1 Comment

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